Unpuntuated Love

Dear You

You're probably thinking I've forgotten all about you by now but that's far from it I have missed you every waking day & my heart still hurts but I'm getting better I continue to smile & still go on without you I know I have missed you but I have kept it all inside of me only for me to know I still wonder about your doings how you are what you're doing what we used to talk about to the laugh in your voice Just everything I miss it all However I feel that the parting of us was for the best because everything happens for a reason Should destiny put us into a crossing road in the future that is when I will see you again Until then remember this No matter what even through the silence fights the disagreements mistakes & the tears we've cried though I saw this as a possible outcome I took the risk & gave you my all Never ever did I give up on you Do not give up on yourself Believe Anything is possible And if you ever need a helping hand do not hesitate to ask I may be far away but I will always be in reach.

--
xoxo
akulahalfi

Things just come and go. (Part 1)

First, you are anticipating for its arrival. Next, its all over.

 

If you're picturing the above scenario, I have nothing to say.

Ha..Ha..Ha..

You know how you always anticipate something for so long, yearning and wishing how you can leave your distressing existence behind and just go anywhere to let you hair loose.

Yet when the day finally comes, time, money, interest level, they all deter you from doing the stuff you always wanna do. And when it eventually ends, you lament that  you could have done so much more.

Almost a week now since school reopened, only now have I the time to ponder whether I had spent my holidays wisely.

YAA! I'm talking about holidays idiot! I know what you're thinking cause in akulahalfi.com, great mind thinks alike. Hehheh. What crap.

Anyways, 6 weeks of holidays... Is gone. My my, how it zoomz so fast!

So many things to do, so many skills to look forward to, and so little time (though I was given all the time in the world) to update this bummer blog.

And to pay back for all that, here I am stealing some time to show you some of the more boring things I did during the holidays..

The holiday begins after the end of my Computer Operating System exam on 2nd September.

COS being one of my least favourite module, I'm having a pretty tough time revising cause I havent really paid full attention during the lectures. Consequently, I'm struggling to stay ahead of the game and totally forgot that its my birthday!!

I would like to say a big THANK YOU to all who had put in so much time and effort to make my special day a si bei special one. Cheers to Pravin, Usheruff, Hidayat, Radin, Siddiq, Kanesh, Ameen, Fiza, Sufyan, Haiman, Hazim, Fadli and Nana. :D

The subsequent days was less eventful. In fact, its one of the most tormenting moments of my holiday. Because everyday, my ears swell from plaguing nags and badger from my mom who keeps pestering me to clean the house.

Because its Ramadhan at that point of time and Hari Raya is just round the corner. Being the only soul who had been paroled from exam clutches, I'm victimised to be the maid domestic servant of the house. Which sucks because its the first week of holidays!

But being smart as I'm naturally am, I conned duped my mom.

Just how did I do that?

Did I hide??

Nope, I'm too smart for that.

Did I time travel??

Nope, that's too smart for me. Hehe.

Well, being a student, we do what we do best in class and that is... telling tales.

I told her I'm an exco of a mega cycling event and would therefore be extremely busy planning and preparing the race.

Which is all a big fat lie!

White lie. At least I escape doing all those house chores so yeah.

And so, my friends and I went on a cycling trip to West Coast Park.

Under the scorching sun and having disrobed the privilege to eat and drink, its indeed a challenge for me and my muslim friends to cycle that far.

Which gives tenfold advantage to that Milo Dinosaur to reach the destination first.

But at the end of the day, everyone else is the winner.

While the rest of us return home safely, this moron's bike need some love and affection.

Cause the gear having some complications (well, according to him)
But according to me, "your gear sucks bodo!!!"

Spoil already dont act cute say got complication la, sand come in la, never grease la, blablabla..

Then again, when you burned your pocket for a bike worth half a thousand bucks, nothing will keep your ears cool when someone ridicule it right?

Here is Pravin's all-time backtalk:

For the effort (to make yourself happy), I'm convinced.

****

Psst! Hey guys, I've uploaded all the photos nicely in one page. To view, click Gallery on the black horizontal panel above. Be a fan of akulahalfi!
*****

I'm dying..

Whoah whoah whoah! 3 days had past since school reopened. I thought it was 3 months already! Maybe more. I dunnoe. And I cant care how long. Its just pure bullshit if you wanna compare 3 months to 3 days when 3 days IS 3 days.

So.. 3 days it is. Am i still alive?

Of course, hanging onto a string that's always there for me.

It's very bad, for a start. Because usually the first few days is still the honeymoon period for most of us. Well, not for me. I'm engaging myself in many stuff which I hope can stretch myself and expand my personal portfolio. And yeah probably benefit my studies as well.

There's so many things to look out for and I guess I'll share it here with you guys.

Okay so first and foremost, its my passion for writing.

Having akulahalfi up and running for almost two years now, I realise that penmanship is always the best modus operandi for me to craft my thoughts and ideas. Sharing my imaginations, and making Barney proud of me.

I mean, it never gets too old for me, nor too bored. Its just a lil teeny-weeny bit of my time, abit of idea and there you go!

Well, this post exist because of time. And the fact that Alis found my blog and apparently she just saw her nude photos which makes me wonder how the hell did she found my blog. Then I realise that I haven't update and so here I am :D

Anyways, back to my point.

If you're a student by day and dreams to be a writer by night, fret not because NUS Literary Society wants to give $500 to anyone who can impress them with your mythical realm of chimera and gargoyle.

Click picture for more details.

So hurry, if you think you can transport the judges into a wardrobe full of talking creatures, or laugh air bubbles in the underwater world of bikini bottoms, or be the director of your own play, seize this opportunity to exercise your gray matter and take home some cash!

Fuel your thoughts and keep the idea flowing. In times when you're stuck, in times when you're out of luck, remember, the resuscitator word is:

Gagaga! You see it first in akulahalfi.com. What the f%k.

Secondly, its my passion for design.

Being someone who admires beauty and creativity, it came down to me that the world is lacking of crews in the arts & design department. So I feel like its my obligation as members of the pubic public to contribute my own.

So I'll start small. Probably redesign akulahalfi first. And if everything turns out smooth, I'll move on to the next level. I dont wanna say my plan here first because I'm scared it wont turn out how I expect it to be. So we'll wait.


Thirdly, I'm joining Microsoft Imagine Cup.

Being the designer, I'm doing most of the design. Like duhh!

Okay, so I'm suppose to design a logo for the team and I havent got any idea. The only logo I can think of right now is

Please support. :D:D

Fourthly its my passion for drama.

Nothing much for the time being but I can predict it'll get busier during the production times. But its gonna be fun!

So having all this, isnt it not death? It's total suicide I tell you. You will see me on the newspaper yea.

Well, that's my life now. Just the first week of school.. JUST the first week of school..

And I'm already dead.

17 Syawal~

For many of us, the thing we love most about Hari Raya is of course,

the Duit Raya.

Known as tithe money, Duit Raya works the same way as our Chinese friends' Hong Bao. The only difference is that the giving of Hong Bao signifies the transmission of good wishes and good fortune.

But for us, giving Duit Raya is like Hari Raya perks.

Sometimes, I dont understand why people use money as a bait to lure people to come to their house and visit them. I'm sure many of my Malay friends have experience this ordeal when their relatives will say,

"Alfi! If you want your angpau come to aunty's house ahhhh...."

It always provoke me when my relative, especially my aunties, say those discomforting words to me. Cause now, I dieDIE need to come to her house to claim my prize.

Its threatening, its intimidating, I feel blackmailed.

So if you think that we Malays are so lucky to be given one whole month to celebrate Hari Raya and spend that time essentially to collect fast easy cold hard cash, think again. My friend, its si bei sian. (Oh wow! That rhymes)

Especially after you had toiled and struggled and endured standing long distances in the MRT just to stay ahead of this rat race,

and all you get is a 2 dollars chipped in one corner.

Is that decent? And people say Hari Raya "setahun hanya sekali". Kalau setahun sekali, sepatutnya kasi lebih-lebih kan? Heheh..

Well, I'm not trying to be a d%k but I realise one thing... I'm getting older.

And as I get older, chances of me getting duit raya will not go up, but instead, slides down. I remember when I was younger, I use to get close to $500. Now, its half of that!

Worse still, very soon it'll be my turn to give duit raya. Aduhhhh... How to face all my young cousins? Cause all my bigger cousins start giving duit raya when they're 20. So in 3 years time, my aunties will be expecting the same.

Now I feel the pinch whenever my dad give out so many duit raya to my cousins and friends.

How I wish we can follow the Chinese tradition. Until you get married, you're NOT ALLOWED to give hong bao. No wonder Singapore's population is at stake. Many Chinese girls rather be spinsters and collect hong bao every year. Hahaha..

But now that I'm still 17, all this responsibilities is off my upper hand. Cause now that I'm still 17, I'm still entitled to that license to get duit raya!!! :D:D

Which is why last Wednesday, my friends and I went out for jalan raya.

We went to Usheruff's, Siddiq's, Hanizah's, Zahidah's, Tirmizi's, Hidayat's, Daifi's, Rahman's and my house.

From all this jalan raya, again I realise one thing..

That as we grow older.. You're expected to have a big stomach, you must be able to eat a lot. And I do mean A LOT!

For the whole 9 houses that we went, we've been chomping food like its crazy. We had a light lunch in Usheruff's, heavier lunch in Siddiq's, dinner in Tirmizi's, dinner AGAIN in Hidayat's and supper in Rahman's.

We begin at Usheruff's where we had Mee Soto specially prepared by.. Usheruff's mom of course. Heh.

We then proceed to Siddiq's where we were serve with MORE FOOOOD~

There's satay..

Spaghettis..

And manyMany more.

Then at Tirmizi's and Hidayat's, we had mee goreng.

Probably by now y'all would have notice that something's amiss.

Nope, its not the fact that Usheruff had dutifully wolf down all the kuehs that had been served for all of us.

And its not because we had drawn out Radin eating a banana to substitute for his absence.

But what is that hairy gargantuan tailless orang utan doing in our homes when its neither Deeparaya nor even close to Deepavali yet?

Better still, who is that blardy 2 meter tall upsized charboiled whopper burger??

If you're thinking what I'm thinking, then you're probably right.

Cause he's there to help us finish up all that smorgasbord of food, and because he is big, and because he's a six-stomached cow, and because he can.

Teehee :) Selamat Hari Rayaaaaa~

Psst! Hey guys, I've uploaded all the photos nicely in one page. To view, click Gallery on the black horizontal panel above. Be a fan of akulahalfi!

Selamat Hari Rayaaaaa~ (Part 1)

Siddiq: There has been a perpetual and virulent lack of discipline upon your blog, why?
Alfi: Aku sibuk ah sekarang..
Siddiq: F%k that.
Alfi: F%k euu..

Good morning Singapore! I really miss you lots like who's gonna care anyway. But what I know is that people have been asking me where have I been because of the "Will continue once I return to Singapore." in my last post.

Well this year, like any other year, I celebrate Hari Raya in my kampong at Muar, Malaysia.

This is my kampong. 

Celebrating Hari Raya in the kampong is different than celebrating it in Singapore. But many people can't tell the difference. And so today this is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna help you tell apart celebrating Hari Raya in the kampong and in the city.


Duly speaking, there isn't really much noticeable difference of celebrating Hari Raya in the kampong and in the city. Like in the city, our day begin at the crack of dawn where we will rise and shine for a brand new start after a month of denying indulgence. But of course, we were woken up not by alarm clocks but...

ROOSTERS!
 

As early as 5am, the whole household was woken up by their deafening morning assembly. So noisy! That's a pretty bad start of the day I must say. But I reckon our school morning assembly is worse than that. Hahaha.. And from there, we kickstart our day.


Every year, my family and I will wear analogous baju kurung for the first day of Hari Raya. If you think it symbolises unity or family togetherness, my friend, please switch your frequency - cause I think different. I think we look like boy scouts or brownies preaching relatives' house for quick and easy cash. =)))) 

This is last year's family photo..

And this is this year's.

Amacam? Can you ever get that kind of shot in Singapore? With banana and durian trees as your background?? Ahh.. Classic sial~

Well, about wearing the same colour for baju kurung as a family, its getting more and more practical these days. As a family, of course we wanna show that we're from the Lee family or the Chang family. Its all about "Family Identification". If not later confuse sial.

Cause I think if everyone starts to look for their own baju kurung, and everyone's wearing different "colour-codes", won't that make that family looks like Power Rangers?

So please take my advise. If you're wearing something anomalous from the rest of your family members, start wearing something similar cause we don't want our Hari Raya to be like Halloween.

And so, after we all got ready, we proceed on to the surau for our Hari Raya Prayers.

Again, this is different from Singapore because in Singapore, we have our prayers in mosque. Surau functions similarly to mosque but its much more smaller and has limited space. Usually, one kampong will have one surau for all the villagers residing in that area and it can only hold about 200 people in it.

And if you look closely, you can see that the surau is made of bricks, ceramics and tiles. This is usually not the case in most kampongs because in my kampong, we're slightly fortunate to enjoy all this modern luxuries. Back then, just like any other surau you can find in any kampong, ours is also made of wood and zinc roof and tree trunk.

As soon as the prayers are done, we visit the graves of our beloved deceased to pay our tributes. During this part, the graves are tidied and adorned with flowers, with recitals from the Holy Quran. This is done in order to obtain blessings from Allah for the deceased.

This ritual or should I say obligation is similar for both Singapore and kampong. But since I'm at my kampong this time round, I'm visiting the grave of both my Opah and Atok, parents of my mom.

I remember when I was younger how both my grandparents will keep their big house clean to welcome us for Hari Raya. I feel that its our duty now to continue keeping that house clean, and at the same time keeping their present home tidy.

That is why, Hari Raya is a day of joy and merriment, but we should also not forget the love ones who had gone before us, unable to coalesce on this blissful day of emotions..

sentiments..

 and memories..

A (late) Selamat Hari Raya to all.. Will continue this soon. Maybe 2 months time? I dony know. Very busy sial now.. Teehee.

Translated: Ku mengharapkan Ramadhan kali ini penuh makna..

As latent inhibition perturb, Syawal journeys on
Marooning Ramadhan that moved on
Sympathetic cries of the devil and Satan in unison
Pacified as they were unchained from the Gates of Iron
Amalgamation of wrath and the oath to the Creator
To hynoptise the descendants of Adam the creation
Will reprise ensuing the salvation

Succeeding a month of condemned enthusiasm
Resist desire, control inner-party-system, denying orgasm
Thou-shall-not relapse to that sultry chasm
Forfeit your quarter, lose a spot in the hereafter
C'mon, hither, don't just sit and linger
Better late than never
Better quick before its over

Yes the challenges are arduous, be zealous
Jel up that benumbed osseous
Ambitious, demanding, ain't we all helpless being
But keep trying
No grumbling, no swearing, maybe just swear to God
Subhanallah!
Carelessly but surely, we walk apropos to Allah

What say our expired folks
Who lives seven feet underfoot

(Will continue once I return to Singapore. Haha! Selamat Hari Rayaaa~)

Ku mengharapkan Ramadhan kali ini penuh makna..

Dalam diam Syawal bertatih lagi
Meninggalkan Ramadhan berlalu pergi
Tangisan iblis dan syaitan minta simpati
Akhirnya lena saat terbukanya kunci
Adonan dendam dan janji pada Illahi
'Tuk menyesatkan anak-anak Adam di muka bumi
Akan berulang lagi dengan kemerdekaan ini..

Setelah sebulan bertempur hebat
Lawan nafsu, kawal batin, beradu syahwat
Jangan kita kembali ke lembah maksiat
Posisi tergugat, tak dapat tempat di akhirat
Ayuh, mari, usah berdiam diri
Biar lambat asalkan selamat
Biar cepat asalkan sempat

Ku akur cabaran ini berat, kuatkan semangat
Apa guna tulang empat kerat?
Memang larat, memang payah, sesungguhnya kita insan lemah
Tapi tak semuanya susah
Jangan mengada-ngada, jangan caci-maki sumpah-serapah
Toksah
Setidaknya kau tahu kau jalan di jalan Allah

Nanti apa kata saudara-saudara kita?
Yang tidur tujuh kaki di bawah tanah? Ah?!
Sesat di tengah jalan
Balik ke pangkal jalan
Jangan lencong dari haluan
Sesat balik di tengah jalan

Bukan berpuitis
Bukan berkhutbah
Bukan aku hendak mengata
Cuma betuli diri jua
Jadikan puisi ini satu iktibar Ramadhan
Semoga berkat pahala akan menjadi bekalan

Aku hanya manusia biasa
Yang tak lepas dari buat salah
Tapi ku cuba berubah
Bak kata pepatah orang tua
Ikut nafsu lesu
ikut hati mati
ikut rasa binasa
Kutahu engkau dan aku tak pernah sebulu
Bergaduh bertekak tak sudah-sudah
Bibir berdansa ikut tarian lidah
Mencanang cercaan dusta dan nista
Tapi tu dulu
Semua cerita lama
Tak berniat dihatiku untuk menyakiti hatimu

Mari kita buka lembaran baru
Dibawah sinar cahaya Lailatul
Selatan, Barat, Utara, Timur
Putih anak bulan semakin timbul
Ucaplah Alhamdullilah, syukur pada Yang Maha Esa
Esok lusa kita mula beraya
Sedang kita bergembira jangan lupa yang tiada

Yang jauh berkirim salam
Yang dekat bersalam-salaman
Sesama muslim ayuh kita bermaaf-maafan
Selamat Hari Raya aku ucapkan
Kepada semua muslimin dan muslimat
Tak kira jauh atau dekat
Semoga berbahagia sepanjang hayat

Seventeen again

I turned 17 today..
17 years..

Of hopes and regret..

The past 16 years had been a bumper car ride. It whizzes past so fast, and full of energy, before shifting into a rough bump. Many yowl in pain, but many more were suppressed with laughers and tears. And once the power cutoff, we exit, living through the rest of our days trying to recall the sunny faces in that circus of life.

So before I forget 'em all, this are 16 things that I did when I was 16:

#1

Opened my first official blog. Before this, I've never ever think of blogging cause I'm too stupid with html codes it looks cumbersome and complicated. But I got inspired when I see Fadee and Zuran sharing cool gossips at their blog and so, here I am doing the same :)

#2

Wrote a complain letter to my principal and got myself into deep shit. I dont know what I was thinking when I did it. But I guess I have to do what needs to be done. And the whole day of that day, I walked out of the office like a hero. AKULAHALFI..!!

#3
Left my mark on one of the walls in school. "LIFELONG LEARNING" One of the best I've ever done.

#4

Messaged Stella. Stella replied. Messaged Stella. Stella replied. (repeat 1000 times) Messaged Stella. And Stella never ever reply again and I'm still waiting, wondering why....

#5

Demonstrated harmful effects of spraying cans on National 43rd Birthday.

#6
Successfully graduated with an 'O' Levels Certificate.

#7

Worked as a relief teacher and realise how hard it is to be in their shoes. Having to put up with 40 hyperactive kids, its really a good experience. Speaking of which, happy teachers day to all teachers wherever you are!

#8

Bought a burger from Mas Selamat right under my nose!

#9

Successfully self-taught photoshop :D
No actual monkey was harmed in the process of photoshopping this photo.

#10

Got my first Arsenal jersey. Though it doesn't mean much to y'all, it means a million to me. Cause... Cause.. Cause my dad bought it from me. Ahhh.. MY dad y'know.. Y'all got the greatest dad in the world like mine anot?? Huahuahua!!

#11

Created Facebook for the first time since it was found 5 years ago, and damn, I got really addicted to it now. Its the next coolest revolution since the genesis of the word nosey and kaypoh.

#12
Got into Singapore Polytechnic.

#13

Never trust a laptop you can't throw out a window. Use ThinkPad. Always the toughest. Haha! So I got mine! And the tagline above, you think its a gimmick? Judge for yourself.

#14
Learned Mandarin but I don't think I'll ever practice it verbally. Cause I speak Malay at home and outside I speak English. The only time I speak Mandarin is when I sell off newspapers to the karung guni man.

The main reason why I learn Mandarin is because I wanna migrate to China I wanna have a Chinese girlfriend. But apparently I'm failing it in every possible way imaginable (HAHAHA!) so I guess I'll go back to square one and start sleeping with guys again start flirting around again! :D

#15

I got myself a designer shoe designed by Tirmizi | London Paris New York Singapore.

#16

Found new classmates, but also lost a few good ones. That's all I'm saying. 

So those are 16 things I did when I was 16. Pretty pathetic to say the least but somewhat flamboyant.

I mean, as compared to the previous year when I was 15, at least I know I had fun. And along the way, I made countless new friends. Especially with the juniors which I tend to shake off whenever they're anywhere near me. Muahaha.. Pestilent rugrats. Nah, just kidding :D

And so, I leave my 16th year with a heavy heart. If there's one thing I'll ever wish for, how I wish I could rewind time. But I know that's not gonna happen.. Thence, I am ready.......

Because today, I'm 17. My destiny has already been written on the stars, and the future has been pathed ahead. The best (and the worse) has yet to come. But come what may, with eyes fixed on the horizon and Allah's gaze upon me, I'll be there.

He's still breathing! MEDIICCC!!!!

If you write in perfect English, people call you Mr England King..

If you write in casual colloquial English, people say you cannot write at all..

If you blog regularly, people say you have no life..

If you don't blog regularly, people say you're running out of ideas..

If you have ads on your blog, people say you're selling out..

If you don't have ads on your blog, people call you STUPID DUMBASS for not trying to make easy money..

If you leave your comments and site address on other blogs, people will say you're site-whoring..........

I remember mulling over this dilemma, contemplating whether or not should I close my blog for good. But I've made my decision a long time ago. That blogging is meaningful for me to keep track of my life in this superb fast pace. As my testimony, as my timekeeper, as my self-checklist.

Apart from that, blogging is fun! I've enjoyed myself writing all these entries and since day one, I've never write an aimless entry or an unpremeditated entry. Some might turn out to be a lil beat around the bush but the whole idea here is that; I believe every word counts and everything mirrors who I am as a blogger. Whether I'm one of those who cramp bimbo photos all over the page, those who blog once in a blue moon or those who plainly write crap.

When I first start akulahalfi, I told myself that I'm gonna tell the world about my daily happenings. But unlike other bloggers out there who naively write about what happen in their whole entire day, I see akulahalfi different.

I wanna tell the world of what I think is happening around me. My thoughts, my retrospection, my viewpoint; all behind a small cranium of a 16 years old. And yeah, after updating akulahalfi for a year plus now, I think I'm sailing with the wind. Well, excuse some drifts when I slant a lil bit on my personal self but other than that, I think I've achieve everything an amateur blogger can do.

The Swine Flu outbreak, The Beijing Olympics, The Haunted House, or even my complain letter to the principal, everything just falls into place and I feel that akulahalfi had successfully effectuate its content upon its readers.

AndAND, I don't know until someone told me. But it occured that many akulahalfi's reader doesn't seem to fall on the same page as I do when it comes to the language department. Hahaha.. Well, what can I say? I'm not really into cheem English but rather, I'm conscientious when it comes to speak/write proper English.

But ultimately, there are even more important things out there than writing all those verbose post. Which is why I tell myself that,

"It's time to change.."

It's time that I make amends and change my style of blogging, its time to reconstruct and innovate.  Which is why today.......

I announce that I wash my hands off akulahalfi and relocate it to akulahalfi-history..

Well, akulahalfi will still breathe on. Its just that those entries from day one till today's will be moved to a new site. And akulahalfi will have fresher entries! :) Cause I don't wanna delete them as there's too much sweet memories in there.

So a big thank you to everyone who has supported and has stayed faithful to akulahalfi throughout the years. I'll see y'all very soon, with an alpha beginning...